Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
