So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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