im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
