I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
