i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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