Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
