Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
