Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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