My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
