I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize