He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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