Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
