If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
