So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
