just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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