Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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