You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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