3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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