This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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