Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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