Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
