so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
