This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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