Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
