I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
