Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
