If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
