I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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