Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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