is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
