shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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