I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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