If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize