You smell like stripper and shame
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
