is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
