i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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