walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
