Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize