we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
