would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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