i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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