He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
