they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
