you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize