This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
