I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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