I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
