I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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