Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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