Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
