No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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