she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
