Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
