Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
