I'm gonna have a badass scar
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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