I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I touched a dick in church today
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
