I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
