I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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