Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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