Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
