belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
